My favorite line of all - Never forget, your beginning was an Orgasm. Such a sacred act sex. Then why so many crimes against women? Because of the blurring of many lines. Because of the confusion, the mystery, the taboo, the crazy curiousity surrounding sex and morality. Because of inequality of rights among the genders. A handful of female singers may dare to write/ sing/ perform a song about sex and or/ sexuality and they come under so much of scanner, harsh and pointless criticism, and endless moral lecturing by the holier than thou people who were birthed asexually from trees like fruits, sitting on their elevated seat of judgement in the sky. Whereas hundreds of male rappers, pop and rock artists have churned out millions of songs year after year, describing in graphic details (and picturisation) about how much they enjoy say a blowjob, or bragging about their sexual feats and prowess or simply a sweet yet explicit ode to their favorite lady lumps. Anyone ever raised an eyebrow? Thats what bothers me. I will not get into if its right or wrong. Thats a whole different blog in itself. For arguments sake, say if it is wrong, then it should be equally wrong for both no then? Also, women are then expected to present their defense or justification or say stuff like- Thats just one solitary/ random song or movie role but i have other soulful songs on the album too or other meaty asexual roles that i have essayed as well? Please take me seriously as an artist. Why? Why is it such a bad thing? Its like unless such reasoning is provided only then this "one" off the mark action is pardoned!
Another thing that bothers me is the liberal and incorrect usage of the term slut. Firstly what is a slut? There are two definitions. A woman who has many casual sex partners. And a prostitute. Firstly lets begin with the latter. Calling someone a slut and if it is not her profession, as in she is not making money out of it is a no brainer as to why it is wrong and unfair. Now to the former meaning. What is wrong if a woman has many casual partners? No by saying this i am not neglecting a crucial topic like sexual health and the risk of life threatening diseases. I am also not undermining the importance of subjects like fidelity, bonding and connection, the importance of trust and cultivating a meaningful relationship and most importantly mutual consent. But then all these are closely connected yet different topics. My point is the difference in the way men and women are expected to behave. Is there a popular counterpart term for slut for men? Nope. Thats the difference. Why cannot certain things be a matter of CHOICE for both men and women without making them go into defence and justification for a very natural right? Why deliberately mis-use the derogatory power of the term to subjugate women and in a subtle (or probably not so subtle) way draw the line what is right and accepted of men and women? The ripples of this brainwashing? Even if a woman ( even if in an exclusive commitment with one single partner) decides to wear something revealing or dress up or use lots of make up, she is "immediately open for business" and that is an open invitation for rape and crime? Is this an over analysis? Nope. Not if you look around the crime rate, the "onus" for the crime that is very conveniently dropped on the victim herself no less (she only shouldn't have dressed that way and invited attention, she smokes and drinks, has many casual partners and therefore is of loose character so what did you expect? She is a porn star so why is she making such a fuss about wearing revealing clothes in a mainstream movie? Who cares if she is a human being first and can also feel comfortable/ uncomfortable about few things, its taken for granted and assumed na that she has forsaken all her basic rights.) And the glaring confusion and obvious unfairness women have to put up with every single day. Like George R R Martin said, he received a lot of hate mails for the depiction of sex and nudity in his Game of Thrones series but not so much about the depiction of violence. So we are okay with blood shedding, with someone cutting and opening up another human being but Not okay with a very natural act we retire to every other night in the privacy of our rooms? That is funny or weird or plain sad?
Coming back to terms like slut, whore, tramp, hooker, etc etc. Dont use them without fully understanding their meaning and repercussions. Respect women. In fact respect all human beings cause you never know their struggles or life story. I am not a male basher. I understand they are not spared either and trapped in gender stereotypes too and their pressures and struggles. My heart reaches out to them as well. But women have to jump through many hoops on fire and definitely have a long way to go to achieve equality in the real sense of the word.
Meanwhile shedding more light on the subject of slut shaming, here is what wikipedia's got to say - Slut Shaming (also hyphenated, as slut-shaming) is a concept in human sexuality. It is a neologism used to describe the act of making a person, especially a woman, feel guilty or inferior for certain sexual behaviors, circumstances or desires that deviate from traditional or orthodox gender expectations, or that which may be considered to be contrary to natural or religious law. Some examples of circumstances where women are "slut-shamed" include: violating accepted dress
codes by dressing in sexually provocative ways, requesting access to birth control, having premarital or casual sex, or being raped or sexually assaulted.
- S. Chaudhary
Another thing that bothers me is the liberal and incorrect usage of the term slut. Firstly what is a slut? There are two definitions. A woman who has many casual sex partners. And a prostitute. Firstly lets begin with the latter. Calling someone a slut and if it is not her profession, as in she is not making money out of it is a no brainer as to why it is wrong and unfair. Now to the former meaning. What is wrong if a woman has many casual partners? No by saying this i am not neglecting a crucial topic like sexual health and the risk of life threatening diseases. I am also not undermining the importance of subjects like fidelity, bonding and connection, the importance of trust and cultivating a meaningful relationship and most importantly mutual consent. But then all these are closely connected yet different topics. My point is the difference in the way men and women are expected to behave. Is there a popular counterpart term for slut for men? Nope. Thats the difference. Why cannot certain things be a matter of CHOICE for both men and women without making them go into defence and justification for a very natural right? Why deliberately mis-use the derogatory power of the term to subjugate women and in a subtle (or probably not so subtle) way draw the line what is right and accepted of men and women? The ripples of this brainwashing? Even if a woman ( even if in an exclusive commitment with one single partner) decides to wear something revealing or dress up or use lots of make up, she is "immediately open for business" and that is an open invitation for rape and crime? Is this an over analysis? Nope. Not if you look around the crime rate, the "onus" for the crime that is very conveniently dropped on the victim herself no less (she only shouldn't have dressed that way and invited attention, she smokes and drinks, has many casual partners and therefore is of loose character so what did you expect? She is a porn star so why is she making such a fuss about wearing revealing clothes in a mainstream movie? Who cares if she is a human being first and can also feel comfortable/ uncomfortable about few things, its taken for granted and assumed na that she has forsaken all her basic rights.) And the glaring confusion and obvious unfairness women have to put up with every single day. Like George R R Martin said, he received a lot of hate mails for the depiction of sex and nudity in his Game of Thrones series but not so much about the depiction of violence. So we are okay with blood shedding, with someone cutting and opening up another human being but Not okay with a very natural act we retire to every other night in the privacy of our rooms? That is funny or weird or plain sad?
Coming back to terms like slut, whore, tramp, hooker, etc etc. Dont use them without fully understanding their meaning and repercussions. Respect women. In fact respect all human beings cause you never know their struggles or life story. I am not a male basher. I understand they are not spared either and trapped in gender stereotypes too and their pressures and struggles. My heart reaches out to them as well. But women have to jump through many hoops on fire and definitely have a long way to go to achieve equality in the real sense of the word.
Meanwhile shedding more light on the subject of slut shaming, here is what wikipedia's got to say - Slut Shaming (also hyphenated, as slut-shaming) is a concept in human sexuality. It is a neologism used to describe the act of making a person, especially a woman, feel guilty or inferior for certain sexual behaviors, circumstances or desires that deviate from traditional or orthodox gender expectations, or that which may be considered to be contrary to natural or religious law. Some examples of circumstances where women are "slut-shamed" include: violating accepted dress
codes by dressing in sexually provocative ways, requesting access to birth control, having premarital or casual sex, or being raped or sexually assaulted.
- S. Chaudhary
